Tag Archives: art2life

and just like that…. cvp

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sometimes you get to a crossroads in your life when you know in your gut that you have to make bold moves, take big steps, into the scary unknown…. do things that maybe terrify you. you have to just trust your gut, go with your intuition, let the universe guide you, because, well, as they say, it’s later than you think.

this is actually the second time in a year that i’ve made such a big decision. to invest in myself. to keep propelling myself forward instead of allowing myself to stagnate, flounder. to take a chance, bet on myself. to keep going. persist.

last fall i took the big scary leap of taking louise fletcher‘s 12-week find your joy online art class… and though it was challenging, it was totally worth it. i learned a lot, i pushed myself, i took risks and was vulnerable, sharing my progress as the weeks went on via my instagram account. i didn’t come out of it some kind of artistic genius with an instant art career but i definitely made progress and (re)learned some valuable and necessary art theory principles and applied them to abstract painting. and i certainly found joy.

i also learned i do better with some structure and instruction; it helps me feel more connected to what i’m doing and forces me to show up in the studio every day. and i really like having a community of artists around the world going through the same things i am, so we can share our wins and frustrations. i learn a lot from other artists, and also how my challenges and disappointments are not unique to me.

well last week i took another free 5 day class, this one from art2life‘s nicholas wilton, who i’ve taken courses from before. (i’ve taken two previous free classes and paid for spark, a 3-week class.) this freebie was the marketing instrument for his 12 week online course called cvp – creative visionary program. you might recall i really wanted to take it last year (it’s only offered once a year in the spring) but the price seemed undoable and this was before i took find your joy so i also wasn’t sure i was really ready for such an intensive art exploration. i applied for a scholarship nonetheless but did not get one. i was disappointed and moved on but then when find your joy came around in september, i jumped in since it was considerably cheaper.

so this year, the 5 day art2life freebie reminded me what drew me to nick and art2life to begin with. there’s an infectious energy and positivity – one could say woo-woo-ness – to his instruction methods and the community he’s built around art2life. i really respond to it, get energized and inspired by it. so though what was being taught last week was pretty much all info i’d heard from nick before, i tuned in every day and painted along and tried to soak up that energy. and i knew the sales pitch for cvp was coming and i still really wanted to take it but initially thought since i hadn’t yet paid off the last class (though i will by the end of this month) and hadn’t made as much progress as i’d hoped in terms of making art that i can sell, that maybe i shouldn’t sign up for cvp. maybe i should just wait til next year.

on the last day of the freebie, they open enrollment for cvp and i saw that the price was pretty much the same as it was last year; it hadn’t gone up, which was refreshing. part of the sales pitch is they show you a little preview of what it looks like inside the portal where the lessons take place and… i dunno, i saw that and realized, hey, i can do this. i did find your joy and cvp is basically the same format, just more intense. i got a lot out of fyj. i made 80+ pieces of art in 12 weeks! i know how these programs work and though my next three months have some blips in them – overnight pet sits, a beloved coming in town and staying with me, jazzfest, etc. – everything is recorded and i can work around these things. i’ve learned how to make art in 20 minutes here, 30 minutes there. i can do this. and besides, you have the materials for a whole year. (i still have the find your joy materials until september!)

the live call on friday when enrollment opened lasted for several hours and i stayed til the end. but i didn’t even need all that time. it was like the universe was guiding my hand and before i knew it, i’d signed up! it just feels like the right time for me, to keep my momentum going. to keep building on what i’ve learned and keep pushing myself.

so i did it. i just fucking did it. and you know what? it felt great! i had the slightest tinge of second thoughts about the financial investment but then remembered they have a 30 day money back guarantee, no questions asked, so i have that much time to figure out if i’ve made a huge mistake and get my money (credit) back. but i really feel like this is the time for me to do this. i need to keep my creative momentum going to see if there’s really any there there. if after this class i still feel lost and like i don’t know what i’m doing, well then maybe i’ll just stop pushing myself so much and definitely stop spending money on classes. but i really feel like i do so much better when i’m taking a class, and i love the way these classes are set up with online communities where you can interact with all the other students from around the world. you post your art, you get feedback from them, you get feedback from the coaches involved in the class, you get any of your questions answered, you see other people’s art that ranges from beginner to accomplished professional – it’s great, especially for introverts like me who don’t really want to go take in-person classes. at least not yet.

so there you have it. i’m taking cvp this year! it’s the preeminent online art course – nick is the OG of online art gurus. there were over 100,000 people taking the free class! so far there are around 1000 signed up for cvp. (enrollment is open through wednesday of this week, i think, so maybe there will be a few hundred more by the time it closes.) if you are someone who spends any time looking at art on instagram, you will have seen artists who’ve been through this program, who started there or who went through it almost as a rite of passage. many artists take it every year to keep refining their craft. (you get a 75% discount as an alum of the program.) it’s akin to taking a college level course all crammed into 12 weeks. it’s a LOT of information. a lot of exercises. a lot of inner work. we’ll work in both a journal/sketchbook as well as on 12″x12″ wood panels. this is intensive. i know i’m going to get behind but i’ll do my best to hang in there and at least show up for all the live content, even if i have to go back through the whole thing once it’s over.

i know some of you will think i’ve lost my mind, that i’m making bad choices, that i’m getting myself further in debt. maybe i am. but i’ve had this dream since i was young that i wanted to be an artist, i wanted to make my living and my life making art. and in many ways i have done the latter – i’ve made a lot of art and craft over the years, however inconsistently – and i’ve even done the former for spurts of time. but not in a way that i could sustain myself and my practice, and not always in ways that i felt deeply connected to. that’s the goal. i’m not getting any younger and i won’t be able to walk dogs for forever – my body is already having a hard time with it and i’m burnt out emotionally with the work. i have no partner or children to take care of me, no savings or retirement money coming to me other than a very small social security which will not be enough to live on, so right now, this is the best idea i’ve got – to focus on my art, hone my craft, and start making money from it, make it a business that will hopefully bring me more income than i currently make walking dogs, so i can pay off my debts and ease into a “retirement” that looks like making and selling art until i die. if i can pull that off, i might actually live longer. and be happier.

but mostly, i really want to feel connected to what i’m creating again. i want to feel less haphazard about my process, gain more clarity about what direction i want to go in with abstract painting. i want to make some work i’m really proud of, and get to a place where that comes more easily.

so. i’ll be posting on my instagram as the weeks go on and i’ll be trying to find ways to raise money to pay this class off. if you want to support me, i still have a studio full of art from the class last fall, from the past few years, and from even before that – i’d love to get some of this stuff out of here and make a few dollars from any of it. let me know if you wanna come over and look around. or if you’re not local, keep an eye on my etsy shop – i’ll keep adding to it as i have time. (there’s also a ko-fi button on this page for direct donations.) maybe i’ll try to come up with some new sticker and t-shirt ideas to fundraise. who knows.

and if you’re someone who’s been with me on this journey over the years – thank you for always supporting me, financially, emotionally, and otherwise. i hope i’ve brought some joy to your life with stuff i’ve made and i look forward to continuing to do so with even bigger and better art. and if nothing else, i hope my quest, my ongoing artistic journey, my chasing of my dream however inconsistent, i hope it inspires you to keep after your own dreams… before it’s too late. we only have so much time in this realm and the clock is always ticking. do the thing… now, while you can. so you have no regrets.

jump and the net will appear – that’s what i’m doing. it’s scary… but also exhilarating!

on disappointment

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well, after not really sleeping all weekend and having serious anticipation anxiety, waiting to hear if i got one of the scholarships for the CVP class i mentioned in the previous post… i just got the email that told me i did NOT get in. “overwhelming amount of scholarship applications” blah blah blah. i find it so hard to believe considering how hard it is to even find out that there IS a scholarship for this program. it’s not listed anywhere on their website and they never mention it. i only found out because someone said something about it in the chat during a live call – and even then the official response was just “email us.” but at the same time, it’s no wonder they have a kajillion scholarship applicants because the course is really quite expensive, putting it out of the reach of most working class and/or low income folks. i guess it is geared to those who do have the money for it, as they are a business with a lot of staff and expenses to pay in order to keep the whole a2l empire going. i get it. nick and the whole team are great and deserve to make a good living doing what they do, inspiring artists to overcome their fears and create. i’m just sad to not be joining in the 2023 cohort. it sucks being poor.

i hope the other artists i’ve made facebook friends with who applied got in. many of them are on disability or are retired and living on a fixed income. i’m not, so i get it. but the timing is definitely not right for me to go $2.5K in debt right now so oh well. maybe i’ll try again next year.

it does however i guess free me up from what i was already thinking was going to be an insanely busy spring. not that i’m going to stop painting – i won’t, in fact i’m thinking i’ll go back over the spark videos again and see if i learn anything new. but i do have some busy work weekends of petsitting coming up and i’m trying to scheme my way for a weekend trip in april and festival season is almost upon us. spring in new orleans is a very busy time of year. so i guess i won’t have to forego all of that, as i’d previously thought if i were to be in CVP.

maybe the universe has other plans for me.

i know it’s ok to be disappointed. this too shall pass. back to the proverbial drawing board… or sketchbook.

post mardi gras update

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now that mardi gras has passed, it’s back to business as usual, which for me has been all about my art. (you can see more pics of my mardi gras adventures on my personal instagram, or if you follow me on facebook.) the chaos and whirlwind that is carnival sort of caused me to pause on my actual painting, save for some sketchbook playtime, in favor of costume prep. but i was able to continue to follow along with the live calls on the free art2life workshop in the lead up to the beginning of CVP. (if you don’t know what i’m talking about please go back and read the last post.)

so, i made a decision about CVP. as much as i really want to take it, i could not put myself that much in debt given my current financial status. it just wouldn’t be prudent and would stretch me really thin on a month to month basis in terms of covering my actual expenses, even on a 12 month payment plan. but i discovered a few days ago that they do have a scholarship program for those in financial need, so i applied. i don’t know if they will consider me to be in enough need to give me a scholarship or not, but i really do hope so. i get that there are probably plenty of others with greater financial need than me who are more deserving (folks on disability, or seniors on a fixed income, etc.) but i’ve pretty much been low income my whole life and right now i’m lower than i have been in a long time. i have no way of knowing how many folks they give scholarships to each session, or how many apply, so i don’t know my odds. but i had to go for it.

so it’s in the hands of the universe now. i turned in my application on sunday. (yes, in the midst of total carnival chaos!) the deadline was today at noon. CVP starts with a welcome call tomorrow but they don’t let you know if you got the scholarship until monday, so even if i do get in i will be playing a bit of catch-up. but that’s ok. i will be so elated if they do allow me in. (i didn’t ask for a full scholarship; i offered to pay 25% which is about all i think i can reasonable pay off over the next year. though if my finances change, i’m happy to kick in more.)

so wish me luck or if you are so inclined, visualize me getting in so i can continue this deep dive i’ve started into my creative expression and all the things that have blocked me over the years from truly succeeding as the artist i’ve always known i am. as i’ve mentioned before, last year started this new phase for me, with the (wo)manifesting of the extra rooms in my house which afforded me a studio space in my home. (this is something i never thought would ever happen and i willed it into existence last year!)

and then i took the art2life breadcrumbs challenge in the late summer, which was a free workshop that introduced me to how nick wilton and art2life approach teaching art. i immediately resonated with what he was saying, how he taught, and was convinced to take the paid Spark class in the fall. i feel like Spark really gave me some a-ha moments and started breaking down all the nonsense i’ve been telling myself my whole life about art and my abilities. i feel like i discovered some threads… that i really want to keep going with, pull harder on, dive deeper on. which is why i did the most recent free workshop and want to continue with CVP. i feel like i have momentum. and that now is the time. i fear if i don’t i’m going to have a hard time on my own keeping it going. like, i’ve been introduced to the principles that art2life teaches but now i need to really integrate them into how i paint. the structure of the classes, the recordings, the lessons, really help me.

anyways. i am accepting all woo and good wishes for best outcomes. and thank you. especially to all of you who have supported me over the years in my art journey, by listening to me talk endlessly about this stuff, or who’ve read my blogs about it, who’ve bought my art and craft, supported my patreon when i had it, or who’ve just generally encouraged me when i haven’t felt confident about what i was doing. i feel like i’m finally on the verge of figuring it out, of gaining that confidence i’ve lacked, so i can finally have a self-sustaining art practice that is meaningful to me and hopefully others.

for now, it’s back to the dogs and cats and to clean up this MESS of a house and studio post mardi gras costume making and general carnival life for the past few weeks. i’ll post again when i’m notified about the scholarship.