one of the coaches in louise fletcher‘s find your joy/momentum classes and art tribe community – irene purcell – wrote those words in a post she made in the art tribe group on facebook. her post was a long description of a lot of big stuff she’s been going through over the past months and years that’s affected her artistic time and output… despite remaining a coach for louise and all her programs throughout. it’s about how she’s been dealing with imposter syndrome and how she’s working to get back to her art.
if you know me or read me here or on social media, then you know i have struggled with this for years… possibly my whole life. i have many interests, jobs, activist endeavors, communities, friends and sometimes i get more involved with one or more things than others. the ebb and flow of life, right? for me (at least for the past 15 years) it’s often been a see-saw between pet work, activism and art-making. also, life in new orleans is FULL of distractions that basically shut the city down to much of anything else. so staying focused on art year round all the time is and has never been my reality. some years i manage to keep the thread going more successfully than others; sometimes i go weeks, months and even years without really doing much art. (when i started my pet biz in 2011 i went several years without making hardly a thing, actually called it a hiatus, as i was so focused on building up my pet business.)
this in and out of my creative life has caused me a lot of self-doubt and kept me from advancing in my art practice and career sometimes, as every time i step away and try to get back to it, i have to overcome the same mental hurdles again. am i really an artist if i’m not doing this 24/7 year in and year out? why am i not more committed to my art? what the fuck is my style? because often, when i come back after being away for a while, i try new things/mediums, so i feel all over the place. is making tshirt/sticker designs really art? do i really have any talent? or do my friends buy my art just to support me cuz they know i’m always broke? yes, these and so many more are the questioning thoughts that go on inside my head and always have. and sometimes, all that doubt wins and then keeps me from creating, from putting anything down on the canvas/wood/paper. for a long time, that was my cycle. sometimes i’d break through and manage to have periods of successful creative output, but it always felt so hard and fraught with doubt.
the pandemic years gave me a little momentum as i was moved to make a lot of art both out of emotion and a desire to connect with people in that time of so much isolation, as well as my gratitude for folks getting me through the very early pandemic when i had no income and then later that year, brain surgery. as things started to get more back to normal, almost by accident, i started getting targeted ads on facebook for all kinds of online art instruction. i’d decided and possibly started talking about the fact that i wanted to take some classes, wanted to learn more about how to make abstract art specifically, wanted to invest more time into working on myself as an artist because clearly i wasn’t getting very far on my own. facebook listened, and i took a series of short, free classes by different teachers, with varying results. but it got me stretching and trying new things. that’s how i learned about this whole new world of online art learning.
and then somewhere i stumbled upon art2life and nicholas wilton, and after his free breadcrumbs class one early fall, i took the plunge and took spark, art2life’s 3 week course that focuses on learning what you like. or as nick likes to say, “what lights you up.” and that was the beginning of my journey with art2life, in 2022. at the end of spark i learned about CVP, art2life’s longer, more intensive college-level art class that is pretty pricey. i couldn’t afford to take it that year but i did the free workshop that came before it and came really close to pulling the trigger. i tried for a scholarship (i don’t think they offer those anymore) but was not picked, so i put it out of my mind and took some more free classes and ended up in louise fletcher’s orbit and did take the plunge on find your joy in 2023, her 3 month class that is similar to CVP (she was as student of nick’s) but in louise’s own style which i love. (it’s also much cheaper.) i really learned a lot and enjoyed that class, but still felt like i wanted to take CVP so took the leap the next year, 2024. i managed to take all these classes, spend all this money i didn’t have, by using paypal credit’s 6-month-no-interest promotional financing, and each time it miraculously worked out for me to find the money to pay off the class in those 6 month periods. sometimes it was by selling art; sometimes it was other random ways that chunks of money fell from the sky. each time i took it as a sign from the universe that i’m meant to keep going.
then last year i wanted to repeat CVP as i hadn’t really finished it the year before – the end of CVP coincides with jazzfest here so it’s hard to finish strong in the course when i’m so distracted – so i signed up for the affiliate program. art2life has this tell-a-friend affiliate program with CVP that pays you to help them advertise the class – for every person who signs up and stays in the class under your affiliate link, you get a good chunk of change… which is enough to pay the reduced returning-alum price to take CVP again. last year 3 folks signed up under me, so not only did i have my CVP paid for, but i was able to pay off the credit card i use for art supplies and some of the card i use for vet bills. it was a godsend.
so here i am again at the beginning of the year, well, almost spring. going back to the title of this blog post and irene’s words, i have established over the past many years that the first two quarters of the calendar year are for getting back to and diving deeper with my art practice. it is my time to focus as much as i can on art-making. there’s just something about the end of winter and the spring that gets my creative juices going. and CVP is also one of the reasons, and so naturally i want to take CVP again. i love the structure of having a class to keep me returning to the studio every day. it’s less about the actual coursework now and more about the structure and the community and the energy, though sometimes the teachings to hit a different way the more times you hear them. but i’m really struggling this year financially as the pet biz has been very slow, my monthly ACA insurance went way up, and inflation has almost everything much more expensive in life. all my credit cards are pretty full, even my paypal credit which i had to use to cover my deductible last month when i went for my annual brain MRI. so i’m really questioning whether spending that $500 that returning alums pay for CVP is a good idea. (i have to make the decision to sign up for CVP and pay the $ very soon.)
so of course, i’m trying the affiliate program again. it always begins with getting folks to come into the free workshop, so there is a larger pool to pitch for taking CVP. (i do honestly promote the free workshop because i like and believe in nick’s way of teaching and think folks can benefit from even just the 5 days of the free workshop.) but you only get paid if someone signs up and pays for CVP. i am crossing my fingers that some folks who are considering taking CVP this year might stumble across this blog, or might see me in the chats or the group FB or on my IG and use my link. last year i offered to answer any questions anyone had, honestly, about whether CVP might be right for you, or about how the class operates. and i extend that offer again. last year i had phone calls with several people who really just wanted to talk it through. others i just messaged back and forth with, or emailed. but i’m happy to talk to anyone about my experience. (some of those folks signed up and some didn’t.)
as i’ve stated before, i’m not one of their textbook success stories of immediate success. i did submit my story/testimonial this year via video (i am trying hard to push myself beyond my comfort zones) but i’ll be really surprised if they use any of it, cuz i don’t have any huge overnight wins to proclaim. i’m still just puttering along, making incremental progress. but i do know that i have a lot more confidence and ease about my art-making process than i did before CVP, and i am much less fraught with worry, guilt, anxiety about “what is my style?” “am i an artist?” etc etc. i simply enjoy my process much more now and that i am finding my way as i go. and that i just have to keep going, that it will come in time. that art-making is an important part of my life and that i do it mostly for me, not for money or for acclaim or a career. i do it because it makes me feel good, alive, human. it’s a part of me. it’s part of how i express myself and if it’s meant to be a bigger part of my financial life or career, it will come if i just keep at it.
so there you go. my CVP/art2life story, in a kind of long nutshell… but shorter than having to go back and read dozens of my blog posts. lol (you could of course do that too – my posts come up in google if you search for reviews of CVP or you can search my site as well.)
we are midweek, day 3, of the 5 day workshop and i don’t even have a CVP referral link to offer yet as they don’t go live til the end of the week but i’ll go back and add it in when it’s available. for now, if you sign up for the free workshop, which you can still do even if you haven’t been doing it so far (all the live sessions are recorded and you can watch them i think til next week sometime), you’ll get all the info about signing up for CVP and already be tied to me as your referrer. so sign up here: https://artlife.samcart.com/referral/FJOskfI6/hG4IF7u1jL8iLZ5V
art2life and CVP might not be for everyone, i’m real clear on that. not everyone will like nick’s california woo woo style, or has the money or is able to spend the money or time on a class like this. i totally get it and nothing wrong with that. i’m not gonna try to convince you otherwise. but if it’s a serious possibility for you, and you’re vibing with what you’re hearing from nick, then i will very sincerely say you will definitely benefit from it if you take the class and give it your full attention, take it seriously. cuz it really can change lives.
i joke often that i’ve joined an art cult. but hey, if there’s any kind of cult i’m ok with joining, it’s an art cult. lol but seriously, i truly love the art2life community and feel like nick and team have helped so many people learn more about art-making and how the process of making art – and learning how to make good/better art – is also the process of learning about yourself and about making your life better. it’s why his company is called art2life. it’s using art to become a better version of yourself. and i definitely agree with nick that the world can always use more art and more artists. so i’m happy to be part of the art2life world and effort and i hope to be part of CVP again this year.