here i go!


so if you’ve been keeping up with me (read previous posts on this blog or this one) then you know i’ve been reawakened to my creative aspirations in 2016 and have been craving more time to focus on the making of things. after several months of trepidation, i launched a patreon campaign to get support to scale back my work schedule to give me a few more hours in the day to do this. the campaign has been a success so far but i haven’t reached the amount of $ i would need to cover cutting back a few walks a day to free up some time. but the urgency of it all hasn’t dissipated either, so i’ve been talking to my clients and, well, the universe somewhat intervened this past week by sending one of my set of clients on vacation, and…

i’m doing it. starting monday, my work schedule will end around 1:30 or 2pm most days, giving me the rest of the afternoon and into the evening (now that daylight saving time kicks in tonight) to create! i’m so excited but also super nervous about willingly letting go of $600-$700/month of pay. but i’m hoping i will get more productive in the creative arena and perhaps come up with some things that folks will want to buy. or that maybe more folks will want to sign on to my patreon campaign to get free rewards and support me at the same time.

either way, it’s time to hustle. so i will be doing all manner of peddling in the coming months. and hopefully i can make this work.

so yay to taking big risks, stepping out of your comfort zone, waking up and staying awake (or as the kids say, be woke/stay woke), being in the present, and following your dreams. here’s to working towards the life i want, doing what i think i’m meant to do. and here’s to the universe being with me every step of the way, saying yes, loudly, repeatedly, until i finally hear it.


new year… now what?

ten days into the new year and, well, there are no big distractions to keep me from trying to figure out the answer to my big existential question of the past year or so:  now what?

the saints are out of the playoffs, and i don’t frankly care who wins the superbowl from here on out, though part of me feels like it might be kinda fun to root for the big underdogs who beat our asses, seattle. the pure joy and excitement on the faces of the seahawks’ fans and players after our game ended last weekend reminded me of us last year.

and yes, it is carnival season now… but we’ve got a long slog until the first parade (krewe du vieux, on the 19th of february!). now that 12th night is over, there’s not much for us common folk who aren’t in a krewe to partake in carnival-wise until then. (aside from eating our body weight in king cake.)

so i suppose it’s time to get my brain out of holiday mode and start trying to figure out this next chapter of my life.

i wish it would be as easy as my horoscope says it’s supposed to be. susan miller says all the strife i’ve been having with money for years and years is supposed to ease up and get better. and in fact, i was supposed to come into some large sum of money just a few days ago! but alas, this has not happened yet. i keep waiting, but so far, nada. i mean, i got a couple of orders on etsy out of the blue… but come on. that’s hardly a windfall! in fact, if anything, things have gotten worse this month so far because all the holiday shopping frenzy is over. even things with magicmonkey have even slowed down as nita gets some work done in her house.

i won’t hold my breath on money falling from the sky.

so i guess it’s time to start polishing up the old resume (as if i actually have one!) and throwing it out into the world to see if it can get me anywhere. i’m still a little torn between trying to find some type of professional or career-y track type job that would pay nicely and possibly stimulate me intellectually in some way (though what would that be? see, the same old problems crop up because i still don’t know the answer to that question)… or just finding some kind of mindless menial job that pays enough to help me pay the bills but doesn’t tax me brain-wise or emotionally. might be fun to just work and play and have fun for a change.

god, i’m tired of thinking about all of it. i just want to have said job, whatever it is, and work hard and get paid and stop being stressed about having enough money to live on. in some ways, i sort of don’t really care what it ends up being. i just need it to happen. something. anything. some movement. some activity. i need to get out there. get out of my house. be around people. be a normal person. work. (i make a really good workaholic, actually, when given the chance.)

why is this so hard for me? no really. i really don’t understand it. i am not a stupid person. i am not generally a scared person. i am not afraid of people. or of work. i have done all kinds of work in my life. i’m pretty open to whatever work comes my way. i just want to feel useful. productive. participating in society. i want to have a life outside these four walls and my cats. i’m tired of working alone in my house.

that is my intention. i’m naming it. this is what i want for my new year. something new and different. simple, really.

wanna hire me?


but seriously. i wanna crowd-source this shit. if you know of any openings, gimme a holler. the only thing i’m not really terribly interested in is service industry. a) i don’t have any experience, and b) i think i’d suck at it. not motivated there. but i’m good at all kinds of other things. (here’s the closest thing to a resume that i have online, my linkedin profile. it doesn’t have a lot of the little side job things like dog-walking/pet-sitting that i’ve done but does have most of my “professional” experience.)

thanks y’all.

bit by bit…

things are slowly falling into place. if you read my livejournal or facebook, then you already know that the last week had been a big one for me. up until last weekend, i was still pretty much looking for a roommate, very unsuccessfully. i thought i had one gal who was very interested, but she ended up getting her own place in the french quarter after stringing me along for a week or so. and i had some other bites, but most never got past the introductory email. it just wasn’t working, and more to the point, all that time looking and thinking about the prospect of having a roommate and staying in this house gave me time to realize that i really just didn’t want to stay here. not that i don’t absolutely love this apartment and our landlords, who are friends who feel like family now, and this kick-ass neighborhood of neighbors who’ve become good friends. i’ve never really been happier where i live in this city.

but. it became apparent to me that i am better at living alone than with others and that i also did not want to remain in this place that is rooted in the past two years of my relationship which is now transitioning to something of an unknown. we’re not exactly broken up but we’re not exactly together either. i think only time and space away from each other will inform us both as to what we each want. it is not contentious in any way, in case anyone’s been wondering, but it remains, daily, for us both, very sad. letting go of the past is always hard.

so. a new place it is. last weekend i finally made the decision to start seriously looking for a place. i’d been casually scanning craigslist every day for weeks but not actually calling to make appointments to go see anything until this past monday. i looked at a few places, called dozens, spoke to many, many property owners. and it came down to two – one that was pretty cute and had a vast amount of space and was an ok neighborhood but was slightly pricier than what i could afford (with a landlord that i didn’t really get good vibes from), and the other was pretty small and not so cute but in a great neighborhood with an awesome landlady who is very accommodating and was the cheapest i could probably expect to get anywhere. so after much deliberation, i went with the small place that i could afford that has many perks to it. if the last five years have taught me anything, stuff is just stuff and i can let go of some of it to make this work. (or store it somewhere.)

that is the front of my new house! however, my new apartment is actually a rear apartment – when they did the remodel on it, they took the front two rooms from my side and gave it to the other side, so my side is only bedroom, kitchen, living room, bathroom. pretty small. but it does come with a cute little yard and a sizeable shed, with which i will just have to make due. the yard is big enough and the alley wide enough that i can drive the scooter right on back there to park it, which is nice. and my bike can go back there too. so i think it will all work out.

while this has all been going on… i have let go of my position at curve magazine. the magazine was bought out by an australian lesbian media company and i had been pondering for a while letting go of that part of my life, so it just seemed like the right time. it’s been a weight on my shoulders and not very much income for the time it takes me, so, woosh, it’s gone.

i have continued looking for jobs and actually applied for, interviewed for and was offered one, about two weeks ago – a so-called “real” job doing admin and investigative work for a financial firm in metairie (i know, weird job for me but for some reason it caught my eye and for even weirder reasons, they thought i’d be a good fit)… BUT it didn’t pay for shit and i didn’t really like the people or the office setting i would have been working in. so that was a no. but it was GREAT for my ego and great practice for future potential jobs.

my yard sale work with my neighbor karen has largely ended, though we still haven’t packed up the leftovers and sent them off to am vets or whoever. i’m toying with the idea of perhaps doing one last sale with some of my stuff whenever i get it worked out as to how much won’t fit in the new apartment, so she might tag on to that and do another one with the leftovers. stay tuned.

and my work with nita has actually picked up. the magicmonkey collectibles website is up and running, and i post new things for sale to it almost daily. some of those things i then crosspost on craigslist, with a link back to the site, to hopefully draw in new folks. so far it’s been a smart marketing tactic, as it’s brought us a few shoppers over to the house to take a look at the whole collection, and a few of them have made some big purchases or intend to become repeat buyers. we’re still posting things on ebay every week, too. this really could be a full-time job and keep me busy for months, because nita has amassed such a crazy amount of amazing retro stuff. i guess if we wanted to get it over with faster we could do a one-day or weekend-long estate sale or something, but she wouldn’t get nearly the same amount for some of her items and it’s way more fun doing it this way and getting to meet collectors and so many interesting people. (and before i forget, we now also have a twitter account for magicmonkeynola, if you tweet. a facebook page is next on the agenda.)

so, while i’d say my life is still largely in transition, at least it’s starting to feel like decisions are being made and some pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. bit by bit.

just gotta keep breathing. and saying my affirmations.

thanks for reading, y’all.

on the verge…

i feel like i’m on the verge of having some answers, of breaking out of my slump, of emerging from the darkness. really, i do. i’m not *quite* there yet, but i can visualize getting there very soon.

so much change, so much transition, so many new ideas in my head. so many possibilities. i’m still sad sometimes – don’t get me wrong – but the better days are starting to outnumber the worse days, at least. i’m starting to get a little excited about what might lie ahead.

first things first: yes, i am still looking for a roommate. or alternately, looking for an affordable 1 or even 2 bedroom (a girl can wish!) apartment somewhere in midcity, bayou st. john or the fairgrounds area. i currently pay around $700 including utilities where i am, so if i could find something in that range (or less) elsewhere and could live alone, i’d do it. of course i’ll still have to give my landlords a month’s notice, so there will be some overlap, which will be costly, but if the right place finds me, i’m willing to do it. finding the perfect roommate who wants to move in at the end of the month is still the easiest option, though. i’m just trying to cast my net wider now. please let me know if you know of something either way.

second, the yard sale was on saturday. thanks to those of you who stopped by. i sold a few things of my own, and thankfully i thought to put some of my t-shirts and signs out, and actually sold a few. i made more selling my crafty crap than my yard sale crap. perhaps it’s a sign? hmm.

my neighbor karen, who hired me to help her with the yard sale, is going to do it all over again next saturday, since she didn’t sell all her stuff. so if you didn’t make it by and wanted to, 8am-noon on saturday – 4705 iberville. there’s still an incredible amount of stuff, it’s crazy. it’ll mostly be indoors this time, though, to make things easier. after this one, everything that’s left is going to goodwill. really.

third, i’m still working with my friend nita, helping her sell her stuff on ebay and craigslist. since it worked out so well for karen and her craigslist sales, i’ve decided to make a little website for nita to have a place to put up pics of all the stuff that hasn’t sold on ebay or bigger stuff that’s hard to ship or stuff that just seems like it’d sell better locally on craigslist. i’m still tweaking the basic setup at the moment, but if you’re interested in keeping up with what’s for sale each week, you should bookmark it: magicmonkey collectibles. i’ll post about it again when i’ve got it all fully loaded.

and last, i’m kinda thinking i might actually try to do this odd jobs/personal assistant/errand-running/jill of all trades biz idea. but i need a catchy or punny name. any thoughts? i’m usually really good at coming up with these things but at the moment i got nothin’. leave me a comment if you have any ideas. i’m pretty convinced at this point that if i play it right – work the “i have time to do the things you don’t have time to do” angle, as well as the organizational/motivational angle (yeah i know, funny to think that i, of all people, could help motivate and/or organize anyone, but apparently i work well with people who are even MORE disorganized/overwhelmed by their stuff than i am!), i think it’ll work. i’ll offer everything from pet sitting and dog walking to creating basic websites/blogs, graphic design, writing/editing, ebay/craigslisting and yard/estate sale organization to running errands, courier services, general labor, and whatever odd job anyone’s willing to pay me to do. whatever i don’t feel qualified to do or don’t want to do, i can refer out to friends who do that kind of work, since i know a few carpenters, painters, house cleaners, and all-around handy folks. i dunno, i’m thinking it might actually work. just have to figure out how to target-market outside of my own social circle, i think.

that is all for now. keeping myself busy. how’s everybody else doing? leave me some comments – i’m tired of only getting spam on this blog!

catching up, and… what’s next?

wow. it’s been a while since i posted here. i had such high hopes when i switched over to wordpress from blogger, that it would inspire me to write so much more cuz the page looked so much prettier. didn’t really happen, though. i got kinda caught up in the whirlwind of information about the oil disaster and mostly utilized my facebook page as a resource for reposting pertinent articles and my commentary on such. i only used the blog here to talk about design responses – mostly t-shirts – and got a little obsessed with that topic for a while. and then promptly lost interest when it seemed there were more t-shirts than barrels of oil in the gulf.

and then i went on vacation to dyke summer camp for 3 weeks. i just got back on saturday night.

i have a lot on my mind upon returning from the woods, not the least of which is what i will be doing for a job. the census gig is up now (it sure was sweet while it lasted!), and i’ve realized i really enjoyed having a regular paycheck and didn’t miss hauling all my arty-crafty stuff around every weekend and freaking out when i barely make my booth fee back at a market. i’m not saying i won’t continue art by mags!, but for now, i’m not particularly inspired (and also i’m flat broke, and thus don’t have start-up funds to get my inventory back up). so it seems to make sense to start the job hunt for some kind of regular work… and then hopefully when my finances even back out, i’ll feel less stressed and be more inspired to want to get back to the crafty life.

i’m not exactly sure what that job will be, though. i don’t really know what i’m looking for. i’m basically open to what the universe throws at me, and pray she throws it quickly. i’d like it to be something i felt some level of passion about, cuz i’ve learned i don’t really do so well with things i’m not particularly interested in. (i get bored easily.) i have a LOT of varied skills, but not any super focused specialties. i’m really good at social media, but not school-trained, just intuited. same goes for basic web design, stuff like wordpress and blogger and even some rudimentary html (cuz i’ve used both to make my own websites for years). i’m diy baby all the way!

i have a lot of strong left-leaning political views and can be really passionate about the environment, queer/women’s issues, racism, poverty, and many other social issues. i’ve been writing professionally since i was 22, so for more than 20 years, mostly about music but also film, politics, and general interest stuff. i edited my own magazine for 3 years too (again, music – DJs, nightlife, the club scene). and i’ve been a volunteer PR/publicity person for just about every grassroots/community/nonprofit group i’ve ever been involved with, ranging from the lgbtq film festival in nola to a variety of nola queer community groups to the roller derby league in louisville, ky (during my katrina displacement) and currently the new orleans craft mafia. oh yeah, and i was a club DJ, too, for almost 20 years. i also have managed the film tent and outdoor movies at dyke summer camp for 12 years (av club!). and then i worked for the census for three months and surprisingly LOVED it and was really good at it. (who knew?)

i’ve done a lot of different things over the years. i’m not even going into all the grunt-like jobs i’ve done for $$ that i didn’t particularly like (landscaping, house cleaning, investigator for a law firm, etc.) but i feel like i’m at some kind of a crossroads right now. i’m 43. i’ve been self-employed or a contract worker for most of my adult life. i have no health insurance. i have no savings. i don’t own a house or a car. i need just a tiny little bit of financial stability, at least for a little while. or who knows – maybe i can find that dream job that uses my skills and background in a creative way and challenges me and taps into my passions and, well, pays me decently. i just don’t quite know what that dream job is right now. i’m waiting for it to make itself known to me. (i wish it would hurry up!)

i know it’s hard to look for a job when you don’t really know what you are looking for, but i’m just trusting in the universe that if i put it out there enough, it will come to me. either i will figure out what i am looking for, or it will find me and let me know that’s what i’ve been looking for.

so here’s me, putting it out there. i’m all ears. whatcha got for me?